Thursday, October 14, 2010


Arms folded over my chest, my body is straight laying right in the middle of the king size bed. My eyes are open but my vision is clouded over the roof. I believe I never pay this attention to it. Even when it’s early in the morning the firsts moments of light of the day are here and the time to stand up is getting close, not that I have slept much last night.

It’s incredible that just 2 days have passed since you left and I already miss you so much. Maybe it’s because today is Saturday and I’m very used to be with you all this day... and I don’t want to think that there are still 2 days left... Last night I tried to get myself busy so I would not feel alone on this beautiful house, our house; so I walked with the dog, cleaned the kitchen, ironed some shirts and pants, even went to the shop to buy food we probably won’t eat, moved the sofa into three different positions and finally left it as before, none of them kept my mind apart from you.

When we decided you’d go with this I only thought of your joy and success and how much you deserved it, I mean you are really talented, but I never thought the separation would be this hard for me, now I only have to conform with hearing your voice for a few minutes, like in the old days, and hear your thrill of knowing new people, new places and adventures. I believe that is the “rough” path of fame…

I now understand that everything we have in this house, everything we’ve worked for is meaningless if there is no one to share it with, I’ve been always so proud of what we have done but today I see it cold, useless and it makes me sad. Today this place is just a house because I know you are my home now… And as some time ago we said, it doesn’t matter what we get or where we’ll live the important thing is to stick together.

(Home - Michael Bublé)

(Home - Foo Fighters)

Monday, October 4, 2010

And I hope this dream never ends...

I have one of those jobs no one seems to care about; no one notice you unless you don't do your job or if something is wrong.
In some cases people even look at us with some repulsion. I clean the tables and floors on a food court on a fancy mall downtown in the big city.

In spite of regretting for what I do for living or what I did in the past to end up here, I enjoy what I do.
My job allows me to keep myself anonymous and unnoticed and I also I watching people on what I once heard is our most instinctive or animal action: eating.

Right now I'm in the rush hour, the court is full and there is no open table.
As I walk thru the corridors I can see different images, the classic soccer mom that is late for the children's practice and is buying the fastest, and not nutritious, meal for the kids: burgers.
The lonely black suited guy that is paying full attention to his mobile device trying to forget or not to notice his loneliness as he waits for his food to be ready.
A big family trying to get another table next to them by putting some presure over the two ancient buddies that have 20 minutes enjoying half apple pie each, unfortunately for the family these two have no worries or anything to rush for. A smile slips thru my lips for these.

I keep on walking with duster and broom in hand, suddenly a couple right at the last table catches my attention. They only have a little basket with ice cream and they are sitting one in front of the other. They seem to be students because they are wearing their school clothing and on the floor their backpacks are laying.
There is something about them that is not common but I cant quite figure out what it is, I believe it is the distance between them and that they don't pay attention to other thing than to the person in front of the other, it's like there were a lot of respect or admiration from one to the other, something not very common these days.
I see them talking and eventually for a very short period of time they hold hands and then smile and realse their hands and keep talking.

The girl accidentally throws her napkin to the floor and I get closer to pick it up, I move so slow trying to make no noise.
They don't even notice my presence, not that I'm not use to it but they simply don't have eyes for anyone else... After I pick the napking I hear something he says that blows my mind: "... And I hope this dream never ends...".

I move fast towards the cleaning station and disappear from court.
I close my eyes and remember that the very same phrase was said by myself just before I ran, just when everything for me was so right, so pink and when everyday the sky were blue and love, happiness and joy were abundant; I ran at the very first trouble.
I am such a coward that cant fight and stand for what he wants the most.
I feel pity of myself and I simply cry hands over the wall. I feel like I need to go back...
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